Back Be Better

Interesting new studies show that repeatedly affirming positive statements might not have the beneficial effect, which is commonly believed to be the case.

The findings of the research are to be published in the Psychological Science magazine and they will reject the ideas of certain advocates of self belief such as American celebrity chat show host Oprah Winfrey and Emile Coue, a late 19th century French psychologist.

Participants in the study were selected based on scores achieved on the well known Rosenberg Scale which shows self esteem levels; questions on the test include rating oneself in certain ways.

The people with the lowest and highest score were chosen to take part by John Lee and other members of this team. This covered the areas that researchers were looking for, namely those with the highest level of self esteem and at the other end of the scale, individuals expressing low self esteem.

After a series of controlled experiments, involving the writing down of thoughts or reinforcing positive personal statements the findings were quite surprising.

Basically subjects with a recognized low level of self esteem actually felt even more negative than they did before. There was a slight increase for those who already felt pretty good about themselves anyway, but not that significant.

So it would seem that encouraging self belief in people is not the answer we are popularly led to think. Perhaps the answer lies in the interaction with others rather than concentrating our own good thoughts.

Bad moods can come from a variety of sources.

Your bad mood could come from repressed needs, chemical balances, or the simple fact that things just aren’t going your way.

One of the most common situations that many of us feel stressed in is when we are bogged down with work.

As mental exhaustion creeps in, we find it more difficult to realize that many of the downs in our lives are mostly temporary.

If your life really isn’t going in the direction that you want it to go, you might want to consider making a large change in your life after careful thinking. However, if your slumps are temporary, here are some ways to get out of them.

Happiness time is wasted

Realize that the time that you spend unhappy is time that you’re not spending happy. This is really obvious but still important.

Imagine if all the time you spent furious and miserable was instead spent reconnecting with those you love or mastering something that you enjoy doing. We keep hearing the clich that life is short mostly because it really is. Enjoy the moment!

Why so serious?

Ancient Greek theater really captured the two base attitudes in this world. Amazingly, so many seemingly horrible parts of your life are absolutely hysterical if looked it in the right angle.

I found it hilarious when someone I was living with at one time threw a temper tantrum because no one was using the Wii that he bought without asking anyone if they wanted it in the first place.

How can anyone ever be angry over a video game system that’s meant to be fun? Why spend all your time screaming and crying when you could be laughing. Laughing feels so much better.

Limit time with toxic people

There are too many types of toxic people to list. But basically, they all fit into two types. There are some people who simply take the most convoluted and time-consuming way to get to their goals.

For instance, instead of Bob telling Sally about how he didn’t appreciate her cranky behavior, Bob instead decides to act cranky around Sally to show her how he feels, instead of directly telling her.

Other toxic people are deliberately vicious or passive-aggressive. These individuals suck the joy out of life, which is why you should carefully consider how much time you spend with them.

What do you really care about?

Do not forget what you really care about. I remember being told “make the money. Do not let the money make you.” But so many of us focus on the means while completely forgetting the ends. Remember your passions.

Get some caffeine

Caffeine is well known for its ability to elevate moods. Not only can caffeine have a direct impact on your mood, but it can also give you a temporary jolt which allows you to escape from your negative mindset.

Keep everything in perspective

Remember that your situation is temporary. Your work will be over with soon. That degree is just around the corner. Try to see your life as a whole instead of focusing on the shortcomings that you are experiencing at the moment.

Many people are afraid to put across their opinions, fearful of an argument being caused.

By using a simple strategy, you can start to be honest about what you are feeling and it will increase your self confidence.

The first step is how you perceive a disagreement to be. Instead of fearing it to be the beginning of an awkward argument, view it instead as a voicing of different opinions.

With this shift of focus, you will straight away feel more comfortable and more inclined to find out more about the alternative view being held.

There are no winners or losers just two very different opinions on a certain matter. Often by exchanging ideas, each exponent will slightly change their outlook and discover a different level of understanding thanks to this type of healthy discussion.

Spending time trying to avoid an argument, is very negative and quite stressful, this in itself can cause tension. Often it is not possible to alter person’s beliefs so frustration can be another feeling resulting from not being upfront.

If you are working closely with someone and you both have very different approaches, you must be prepared to make equal compromises. This can still ultimately satisfy each party because this approach will be mutually more agreeable than choosing one as opposed to the other.

Being true to yourself gives other people much more chance of getting to know your opinions and appreciating your outlook on life, resulting in a lot more harmony and understanding.

Women are often too hard on themselves.

Many women often flip through beauty magazines wishing they looked like the stick-thin, size-zero models that constantly are found within the pages.

The unfortunate results are that women feel not up to the ideal.

What is bizarre about this is that the average woman is a size 14, not a size zero.

Despite this, many women I’ve come across still have that image of imperfection in their heads. This is a type of perfection that is basically arbitrary and not based on anything outside our society’s expectations.

True beauty involves a lot more than standing in front of a mirror with a brush. True beauty is the look of confidence and self-esteem that certain women show.

Recycle all those beauty magazines. That unrealistic body image will only cause you to forget that the female body belongs to the female owner, not everyone else.

Every year, thousands of women have plastic surgery just so they can look like anyone other than themselves. Vanity wasn’t made a deadly sin for nothing.

Next time you consider plastic surgery or see someone who has it, remember this: these people are clones of another body image. Remember this, also: beauty fades, but the part of you inside never does.

Go out in the world and make people smile and laugh. Be genuine with your feelings and all your beauty will radiate from within.

If your self-esteem is still low, a little more work may need to be done. Instead of standing in front of the mirror obsessing over that Ghirardelli, learn to love that chocolate candy.

See it as reward for all your accomplishments throughout the day. Did you make someone smile? Did you help seal a multi-million dollar budgeting deal?

Did you break your habit of not using your turn signal? Go ahead; love chocolate. If you feel guilty, make it dark chocolate. Dark chocolate has antioxidants that help protect against cancer.

Learn to love yourself. Your body is beautiful and so is your mind and soul. What matters is attitude, sass, and an enjoyment for life that makes a woman sexy, not her figure.

Stand in front of the mirror and smile. Have fun with yourself. The longer you do this, the more you won’t see imperfections, but the perfections that are you. Every real person has the imperfections.

Everyone has a part of their body that they don’t like. But you’re not just that one part of you. Think of yourself as a whole. Hold your head high and say to yourself “I’m beautiful! I’m a goddess!” Now chant this in your head as you step outside into the world.

Confidence

Confidence is the only word you need to survive. Confidence can completely change your life for the better.

Every day, practice one of these aforementioned exercises until loving and accepting yourself becomes the first-and-foremost thought on your mind. When you can say you love yourself, you have become a truly beautiful woman.

What is a waffling boss or client? Waffling bosses and clients come in all shapes and sizes.

Some bosses constantly change the requirements of the project, forcing you to continually redo your work.

Some clients are vague about what they are looking for and then they blame the worker for their inability for completing the project. Worst of all, some clients continually try to sneak extra work into the contract.

They ask for an information package without stating how large they would like this package to be. Then, after you complete your work, they ask if you can write a year’s worth of email blasts. These individuals waste time in a world where time is a precious commodity.

Handling a waffling client

Waffling clients are the easiest to handle as long as you take the steps necessary. For all projects, every detail of the project must be laid out as clearly as possible.

Do not take an assignment until you completely understand what actions you will be taking to complete this project.

Keep in mind how long it will take you to complete an assignment and be aware of how much you need to be paid in order to afford to continue working for this client.

If your client suddenly changes the terms of the contract, inform your client that this is not what you agreed to and that you will need to be compensated individually for each new job.

If your client does not like the quality of your work and asks you to rewrite it, the client is justified in asking this. But if your client asks you for writing that is in the form of an information packet and then later changes his mind and wants an email blast, inform your client that you agreed to write an information packet.

Stick to the contract and create new contracts for new assignments. If your client refuses to write up a new contract, you have every right to end the relationship. You are better off losing the client than you are losing the time that you could spend working for a more consistent client.

Handling a Waffling Boss

Waffling bosses can be irritating and your boss’s inconsistency might cause stress, anxiety, and wasted time. Even if you are paid salary or hourly, these bosses hurt the company from which your paycheck comes from.

More so, you will have fewer accomplishments under these types of bosses. With fewer accomplishments, you will have less to use when negotiating a raise.

The best way to handle a waffling boss is to work to improve communication. The first step you should take is to improve your articulation. If your boss does not seem receptive to questions, try to explain to him your concerns over the pace of the project.

If you are working for a large company, you might be able to wait until promotion time to move out from under this type of boss.

If the problem persists, consider looking into another company. This is especially important if you work for a small company. Your boss might actually put your job in jeopardy.

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