Back Be Better

Living in the modern world can often lead to a mood of hopelessness and a feeling that everything is beyond our control.

With bad news constantly delivered to our doorsteps sometimes guilt can stop us from striving to improve our own lives.

Being compassionate to others is a very noble state of mind but a self imposed suffering does no good to anybody.

In reality a more positive outlook in your own life will enable you to achieve much more than sitting around worrying.

Often other people can be inspired by connecting with the positive energy than an individual gives off.

For example someone who decides to shed a few pounds in order to improve their life and self esteem. Their success story will often be just the motivation another person needs to cut out candy bars and start taking exercise.

This is a very easy theory to prove just by smiling at people you meet, when you are out shopping or walking in the park. In most cases their reaction will be a positive one and often that can then create a chain, because they will then smile at the next face they see.

Looking at it logically, if you did not exist, it would not mean that everyone else has more air to breathe. If you are miserable and sad your head will be facing down towards the ground, you will barely be aware of what’s around you. There is nothing positive in that, which will have an uplifting effect on your fellow human beings.

You might feel that you are overwhelmed by the number of people who want your time.

Or maybe you feel that you just can’t find the right guy/girl/friend/client/boss.

You might be afraid of becoming a social hermit. To avoid this, you jump head first into the relationship pool without your inner lifeguard.

Repeat after me. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Life is short. Relationships take time to maintain and build. Any time that you spend on one relationship is time taken away from other relationships.

Why waste time on relationships that bring you unhappiness when you can spend time on relationships that bring you happiness?

You can find wonderful people who want to be with you. You can find people with the same interests and beliefs as you. If you exist, there’s a chance that there are others like you that exist as well.

Rule 1: Know thyself

This might sound obvious, but you cannot get what you want unless you know what you want. But more importantly, you should know what other people might be able to get out of you.

This is not a transaction, but you should be aware of what others will likely come to love about you. Are you adventurous?

Are you caring? Most importantly, how much time do you think you will be able to give your relationship? Quiz yourself. Know your faults.

If you have had any difficulties in your past relationships such as flightiness, argumentativeness or forgetfulness, these faults will have to be dealt with in the relationship.

You might be able to find someone who will be willing to work with you on your faults, but your relationship will likely have fewer bumps if you work on these issues before seeking a new relationship.

Do not enter a relationship hoping that the relationship will solve your problems.

Rule 2: Know your playing field

If you have a good idea of the type of person that you would like to end up with, try to figure out social places that this type of person would likely go. If you’re looking for an adventurous person willing to try new things, join unusual clubs and other groups.

Many intellectuals complain that they cannot meet other intellectuals to date. Try heading over to libraries, book stores, book signings and conferences.

When trying to meet someone, do not use pickup lines. Instead, talk about the shared interest. If you’re at a book store and someone is looking through a book section that you commonly frequent, talk about the books.

If this is the person you’re looking for, you’re almost guaranteed to get into a good conversation unless the individual is very bashful or short on time.

Cast out a wide net, but make sure that you cast your net in the right places. Talk with many people in a respectful way until you find someone that you connect with.

Rule 3: Know thy new acquaintance

This is the most important part. When talking to this new acquaintance, focus half your time on what you’re saying and the other half on what your new acquaintance is saying.

Remember that you are not just trying to impress this person but also find out if this person impresses you. Pay attention to how this person treats you in your first encounter.

Look for any behavioral cues that might set off red flags. If the person appears honest and genuinely responsive to what you say, you might be able to let your guard down. But if the person shows a lack of interest, you are likely wasting your time.

If the person feigns interest but shows signs of not paying attention to what you are saying, this person might simply be polite. Otherwise, this person might even be planning on manipulating you.

Most importantly, be patient. You are better off waiting than you are getting stuck in a relationship that will burn both you and your time.

Learning how to economize small incomes is becoming more and more difficult, especially for younger people who may still be studying.

Students find it especially difficult for their lifestyle has changed considerably compared to the one they were used to when living with their parents.

It is important to realize, that unless you are working full time for seven days a week this lifestyle is not yet possible, so you will have to make a radical change in your style of life if you want to keep out of debt and save some money for extras.

It will take time and patience to achieve what your parents and family have, try and learn to appreciate the new activities you can afford, think that it is with your own money that you are buying something or going somewhere, this will render experiences all the more exceptional.

A good method for preserving your finances is by cashing your check and taking out the amount needed for paying bills, then try and put away some for savings and use the rest for your weekly activities.

You can keep a better control on your money by using cash as opposed to credit cards, for you will have a visual control over your expenditures.

Only buy things you really need do not have people convince you that you need more than you actually do.

You can create a ‘wish list’ where you write down those things you would really like to purchase and their price, in order to get a better perspective over your actual needs and your whims.

Whether you’re applying for your first job or negotiating for a raise, your raise will depend on how well you negotiate with your boss.

We all have anxieties over asking for money in any way, shape, or form.

We might know that the budget is tight and that our boss is concerned with minimizing costs in order to maximize revenue.

Sometimes, we wonder whether or not we deserve the raise in the first place. Other times, we are worried about whether or not our boss will be offended at us finding that our work is more valuable than our boss finds it to be.

Be sure to prepare for the raise negotiation. Practice several times the week before negotiating for your raise. Imagine how you think your boss would respond and prepare your own response to his response.

As long as you approach the request for a raise in the most respectful and patient way possible, you will not come across as demanding. Unless he is relatively new to his position, he should expect requests for raises.

If he does not feel that there is enough room in the budget for your request, he should already have experience responding in a respectful and considerate way.

Get to know your boss and learn how to pick up on nonverbal cues. You will eventually discover that there are times when your boss will be more responsive to suggestions.

During these moments, even if your boss realizes that he cannot give you a raise at this time, he will be more likely to remember you when it is time to give raises.

The best time to negotiate for a raise is when you are in the process of being promoted. An especially good time to ask for a raise is not long after you have accomplished something.

Your boss will be thinking more positively towards you and you will be able to use this success as evidence for your value to the company. If you demonstrate consistent usefulness, even a stingy boss will want to give you a raise in order to avoid losing you to another company.

Remember that you should have specific reasons why you deserve a raise. If your boss starts to seem hesitant, return to these points. Do not stray from these points because your boss will start to think that you are hesitant about your accomplishments. This in tune might cause your boss to feel hesitant.

When negotiating for the specific wage, ask your boss to name an amount and then ask for a little more. If your boss insists that you name a price, your prior research will come in handy.

Before even having the interview, you should research the average salary that those in your field have after working as long as you have. This will give you a rough number to go off of.

Most importantly, remember to improve yourself. Even if you feel that you are not being paid enough for your efforts, remember that your hard work will play a large role when you do negotiate.

Even if your boss does not give you the wage you are looking for, your accomplishments will look great on a resume when you are applying for an even better position at a company that appreciates your work.